[ open post; voice test here to avoid spoilan the public ]

[xenophilos]

i do have to wonder, yoU know, aboUt what it would be like to play chess with a more agreeable opponent.
i think it woUld be nice, for a change!
to be able to play with a lovely chess chUm who appreciates the game, bUt wont... do *things* with the captUred pieces when one makes the UnfortUnate oversight of tUrning ones back. u_u
it trUly does have a way of getting Under yoUr skin after a while trying to find ways to replace them. oUr chess set shrank by five whole pieces by my last count.
what a nUisance.

(( ooc: please assume text replies for now! uwu ))

Comments

[scrums_and_whatnot]

Golly isnt that cheating??

[xenophilos]

that is exactly what i thoUght! :U
bUt to be entirely honest with yoU, jake, this sort of Underhanded Unpleasantness is par for the coUrse with him.

[scrums_and_whatnot]

Youre talking about your brother uu right?
Hes a bit dastardly and i have to admit pretty friggin unpleasant to boot.
I wish i could offer my services as a chess chum but to be honest i doubt id give you the challenge a gal like you deserves.

[xenophilos]

yes, i am. hes become even more Unbearable than UsUal lately. u_u
bUt i sUppose it is only what i have come to expect.
yoU shoUldnt think something as silly as that thoUgh, lovely.
the challenge is fUn, bUt why, when i give it some thoUght, indUcting someone new into the deeper rUles and manoeUvres of the game could be jUst as exciting!

[scrums_and_whatnot]

Really?
Youd want to teach me? Because make no mistake im a complete novice at chess.

[xenophilos]

yes!
^u^
i am sUre it woUld be qUite the smashing little exercise.
i dont mind if yoUre a novice if yoU are alright with me teaching yoU! the basic rUles of chess are qUite simple to pick up.
after that, all it takes is practice and learning how to read the board to become a dab hand at it all.
althoUgh i sUppose some enthUsiasm for chess is probably UsefUl too.

[smackdownsoup]

I'm new to chess, but I'm willing to play.

[He's even newer to computers, but he's up for this.]

Do you want to play white or black?

[xenophilos]

really?
oh, i woUldnt worry aboUt being a beginner, love. no one starts off being good at most anything!
why, i am jUst thrilled yoUre interested in playing! ^u^
i woUld like to be white, please!

he's doing audio + text transcription; ...do they need to introduce each other

[smackdownsoup]

Then it's your move. I have my board set up here.

most excellent :3 ... and possibly IDK THIS IS MUSEBOX LAND

[xenophilos]

right yoU are!
pawn to f4, please.

EITHER ONE COULD BE REALLY ADORABLE

[smackdownsoup]

[Pause, then a clink of piece against board.] Pawn to f5. Do you mind if we talk while we play?

THIS IS TRUE what the heck why not say intros are in order

[xenophilos]

pawn to g3.
not at all! a bit of nice chit-chat woUld do jUst nicely. ^u^
which reminds me, i am so sorry! i have completely forgotten my manners.
u_u
i was so excited aboUt the prospect of a friendly match, it qUite slipped my mind to introdUce myself.

should we say this is ddd style?

[smackdownsoup]

[Um.] Can we only do two-square steps with pawns on the first turn?

Same here! I'm Shiro, and - the how-to list I found said I'm supposed to say my age and city, so I'm 40 and from Republic City.

sure!

[xenophilos]

every pawn may move two sqUares on its individUal first move if the player so chooses.
after that, its only one sqUare per pawn with no exceptions!
it is wonderfUl to meet yoU, shiro!
yoU may call me UU. ^u^ that is what my friends call me!
bUt i am afraid i am not entirely sUre how to translate my age from my species terms into yoUrs. :u
repUblic city soUnds like it mUst be an exciting kind of place.

[smackdownsoup]

Why's that? I guess it's like the river-crossing rule in pai sho... [Clink.]

You you? Spec - are you a spirit? And it is pretty exciting!

[xenophilos]

to be honest, i am not entirely sUre! it is jUst what the rUles say.
if i were to offer some specUlation, i sUppose it coUld have something to do with the fact that they are sUpposed to represent foot soldiers in an army. bUt the trUth is, i havent the foggiest idea! :u
what is pai sho?
no, im not a spirit or anything like that, i am afraid. i am not even from yoUr planet.

[smackdownsoup]

Then it'd be a charge of some sort? Pawn to a4. [Click.]

Pai sho's a game on my world that's as well known as chess is on Earth. It's about as complicated as chess too, so I'll skip on explaining it and say that it's ingrained enough that we reference it a lot.

I know about the other worlds! But if you're not human, what could you be but a spirit?

[xenophilos]

oh yes! that seems like the most plaUsible explanation.
maybe i coUld learn more about pai sho at a later time, then.
it soUnds very intrigUing! ^u^
i am an alien! althoUgh im not hUman, i am jUst as solid as yoU lot all are.
there is not really anything ghostly aboUt me!
pawn to c4.

fff, hopefully the translation shenanigans make sense

[smackdownsoup]

The trickiest part will be getting you a board. If a piece gets lost on the way, it's a lot harder to play unless you remember which rocks you're using for what pieces.

[Ok, wat. The characters on the screen he's seeing don't make sense.] Alien? [No, really, what is this. "Sibling-human-from-morning star"?] And spirits aren't ghosts, they're on another plane of existence. It's...I don't know how to explain it. Everyone here knows how spirits work, so I've never had to.

[he is too distracted to make a move]

sjkdbfsaf no that's brilliant

[xenophilos]

that does soUnd like it coUld be a wee bit tricky.
bUt im sUre one of the more ingenioUs people on the internet coUld figUre oUt a solUtion!
its possible that one coUld create a virtUal board, which woUld be mUch less mess! ^u^
yes, alien!
i sUppose its difficult if yoU dont have the concept... similar to how my concept of spirits is apparently mUch different than yoUrs.
it is really just a general word for any of those who happen to hail from a different planet in the Universe or mUltiverse than yoUr good self.
why, from my perspective, hUmans are the ones that are alien!

hee c: i know how he'd react if he ever saw her, even though that's not likely to happen

[smackdownsoup]

We'll have to find one. I'm still learning how to use it.

No, I've never heard of 'aliens' before. Is that how I pronounce it? [Ok, he knows that what the Earth Kingdom used to call the morning star was actually a planet, and that they've seen other planets in the sky too far away for a person to see, but - how would anything live on them?]

[He's kicking himself for not keeping up with astronomy is what he's thinking, more or less. And wishing that he knew how to pronounce the character set for 'alien,' that's also important.]

So, how do you know about humans?

text post it is!

[fallen_stage]

I'd rather not play than to endure such immature behavior.

[xenophilos]

ordinarily, i woUld agree with yoU.
bUt the sitUation between the two of Us is a little, well...
delicate woUld probably be the most fitting word!

[fallen_stage]

That is unfortunate. Were we in the same place, I would be happy to have a fresh opponant.

[xenophilos]

if yoU have a connection to the internet of some sort, it might not matter that we do not cUrrently occUpy the same space! we may still be able to play even withoUt that.
to my knowledge, there are several chess servers that woUld facilitate sUch a game!

[zuipperpips]

omggg u should hnave said
ill ttoes play w/ u
*UU hehehhehe

[xenophilos]

will yoU really?
thats wonderfUl news, love! ^u^
i do feel ever so a tad daft now, thoUgh. ^u^;
to think that i coUld have asked yoU for a game all this time!

[zuipperpips]

nah no prob no prob
i mean we dont usually talk bout agems
*gamers
*hott gamer boyz wonk
n e way ill find a site we can play online

[xenophilos]

oh yes, i gUess that is trUe!
a website seems mUch neater than the alternative.

[zuipperpips]

tbh
im hopin 4 the alterantive evenetually
*fixfix
da alternative bein some sweet hangouts???
i know im just shittin crazyass theroies outta a bulbous foam ass rn but wouldnt it be hella awesome if this fucked up game let us meet
*holy shit thats like 9/10

[xenophilos]

that... woUldnt be something i woUld object to, in theory!
in fact, there is not mUch else i woUld like better than to meet yoUrself and all the rest of yoUr wonderfUl chUms in person.
UnfortUnately, our paths will take Us to play two distinct and separate sessions of the game we are both aboUt to play, so it is very Unlikely that we will ever clap eyes on one another. u_u
which is a right bloomin shame if i do say so.
bUt simUltaneously, it is probably Ultimately for the best.

[zuipperpips]

u havent met
rolal hacker xtroaidinere
*not even close
aint nothin a game does i cant get round
im my own getawy driver doin rad flips over busses
and the buses are on fire
*dont know hwo 2 spell busses sober
and the fire buses are rly a fireawall
isnt just dirk who can fellate the metaphors 2 xtreeeeme lenghts

[xenophilos]

Um...........
i think yoU may have lost me a tad aroUnd the bUses.
^u^;

[zuipperpips]

haha dw jus shittin out some freestyle wordz
it has a z cuz its hardcore

[willfixitforyou]

A good opponent is always a pleasure.
I play, and not too badly, so if you'd like we could~?
I promise there'll be no harm done to your game pieces~!
No fun in that, after all.

[xenophilos]

well...
i dont UsUally play with strangers.
bUt oh, what the heck! it woUld be nice to have a little fUn!
do yoU prefer to play white or black, good sir?

[willfixitforyou]

I'm not picky.
I'll leave the choice to you if you do have a preference, otherwise I'll default to white, since you offered.

[xenophilos]

i am happy to Use black to mix things Up a bit in this instance.
since i am already being a tad cavalier with myself here. ^u^;
in that case, yoUr move.

you know what i can't resist her

[omniferous]

I don't really get it, but isn't that kind of pointless if he wants to play?

omg yes

[xenophilos]

one woUld be inclined to jUmp to that conclUsion, woUldnt you think?
bUt he delights in making things as confoUnding as it is possible to make them.
if yoU were to ask him, i have no doUbt he woUld say it is all a part of oUr game.

[omniferous]

What kind of game works like that?

[xenophilos]

one that is more akin to what hUmans woUld refer to as a rivalry.
u_u
really, it is a form of a trUce between Us, bUt he insists on pUshing the boUndaries, most likely jUst to infUriate me.

placeholderrr while I catch up on my other tags óuò

[docfoul]

I would like to play a game, too.

eeeeeee

[xenophilos]

[ well that sure isn't an ominous and loaded phrase at all ]

Um.
a game of chess, yoU mean?

[ PLEASE DON'T MEAN THE OTHER SORT OF GAME PLEASE. ]

[docfoul]

Why not?
You will find me to be an extremely skilled opponent.